Sexist Pig

Our sign language tutor told us a joke the other day. Woman driver (don't start - she's a woman who drives, okay?), driving in the country, down tiny, winding road. Man in 4x4 coming other way and then comes to a halt.

'Pig!' she shouts.

'Bitch!' He replies, before backing up - and promptly crashes into a pig.

It's funnier in BSL. Although, as with 'My dog has no nose' in German, it doesn't really translate, as the sign for 'pig' as in animal is one thing, whereas the insult is altogether more emphatic.

Aaaanyway, a friend just alerted me to a form of sexism I hadn't considered. The recent royal scandal about an unnamed Royal being blackmailed for having gay sex and drugs at a party had everyone leaping to their most likely suspect. But when Buck Palace confirmed that it was a minor Royal, everyone abandoned their 'From Nazi to Nancy' headlines and started thinking of lesser Royals. I had mental images of some Royal or other thinking 'Me? Minor Royal? The bounders!', but not once did I think that it might have been a lady.

The fact is, lesbianism has never been illegal in this country (aside from when it involved under-16s), so it's consequently maintained a sophisticated air for most men. Whereas by being driven underground by Old Queen Vic, gay sex has always had a level of horror for straight men for whom homophobia is more to do with being afraid of being labelled as gay themselves than of being afraid of poovery per se. But it's true that I didn't hear a single rumour suggesting it could be a female royal - a minor princess or daughter of a viscount.

Now, is that because the media has trained us to assume all gay sex scandals involve public toilets, or do we simply not think of women as likely subjects for blackmail? Would a bisexual woman feel the need to hide the fact as much as a bisexual man?

I dunno. But something tells me that having sex with a Royal would be as close to bestiality with a horse as one could ever get...