... and in Related News

We've all experienced this, I'm sure - reading the news headlines and suddenly misreading them as related links, as if each unrelated story is connected sequentially.

Here's an example of 'other top stories' from today's BBC News Online:

- Langham wins early jail release
- Winehouse kicks off UK tour
- Potter hopefuls lose out on role

Did a man convicted of downloading indecent images of children on the internet provoke a notorious hellraiser to start a tour, and somehow one of these events managed to exclude children auditioning for a part in a Harry Potter film?

How about this collection from the BBC News Scotland page?"

- Man, 86, dies after police crash
- Van man jailed for bike road rage
- Man remanded on murder charge
- Bike sex man placed on probation

You could easily read those as sequential headlines on the same story, which makes me feel sorry for the poor man who died, apparently as a consequence of a road rage incident involving sex on a bike. Poor fella.

Funnily enough, I'm off to Scotland this weekend - apparently my trip coincides with an important football match against Italy... a quiet weekend is unlikely.

My sign language tutor was describing yesterday how, in Glasgow, football is like a holy war, with Rangers and Celtic locked in eternal conflict because of the religious affiliations of each team. In Glasgow, he said, if you win, 50% hate you; if you lose, 100% hate you. He then told us a story about footballer Paul Ince, who, on turning up with a white bandage on his head, was described by Paul 'Gazza' Gasgoigne as looking like a pint of Guinness.

I'm pleased that I could follow all of that. My retention of vocabulary's still not strong because I just don't practice enough, but I'm getting good at following his monologues now. And yesterday, one of the new signs I learned will come in handy, I'm sure - index fingers point to the eyes, then come away as both hands spread out away from the face: 'MARVELLOUS!'