28 January, 2006

I Heart Steps!

Monday, July 5, 1999:

Having unilaterally boycotted both Pride and Mardi Gras last year on the grounds that the previous ones just made me miserable I had to be coerced into going this year. Okay, officially I begrudge paying thirteen pounds to sit on grass for two hours, but I *did* enjoy myself. I went on the fairground - okay I went on the biggest wimp-out piss-poor ride and nearly died of fright (two years and a stone in weight have made me a fairground wuss). I also saw the following acts "live": Precious (piss-poor Eurovision failures who proved to us why they only came 14th), Westlife (another boyband), Human League (Euw - tone deaf or what!? Sorry, they're great 'n' all, but those bints cannot sing!) and Steps (who were the best thing EVER!!!!). Shame I had to leave just as Gary Barlow came on. Actually, know, it isn't 'cos I hate Gary Barlow. Every time I see Robbie Williams on the telly I have this mental image of Gary Barlow seething. And foaming at the mouth.

"Course, they all foam at the mouth when I've finished with them." [sorry for that]

I love Steps. I've finally decided it *is* love I feel for them. Especially Claire, who looks like she keeps them all in line. I wish there was a TV show of Steps and I'd watch it every day. It'd be great - Faye Steps gets her hair caught in a revolving door, threatening the group from getting to a live p.a. on time, "H" tries to think of a way out of it and while he strains himself, Claire organises things, persuating Lee to dive in (doing his best Ben Affleck impression) and rescue Faye while Lisa sorts things out with the venue organiser (played by Christopher Biggins).

I've given this far more thought than it deserves.

In fact, I'm currently rewriting "Robots of Death" for Steps.

Claire: "I heard a cry!"
"H" [in a Welsh accent]: "That was meeee!"

[repeat above, but with dance moves and a key change 2 minutes in]

So, WHAT I HAVE LEARNED from this.

Firstly, there is a horrific typo in there - 'know' instead of 'no'. Hateful.

Next - that I felt the need to explain who Westlife were seems just ridiculous now.

And thirdly - of course I was experiencing transference. It wasn't Steps I loved but who I was with that day. Even as I consider what to write next, I've just triple-corrected myself as to what was also happening on that day. I'll just say that, six-and-a-half years on, I clearly still have issues.

What I didn't mention in that posting to the group was that after the Mardi Gras thing I went to a party in West Hampstead, where Gareth R was living at the time. I'd completely forgotten that party until now. Nothing memorable happened, but it was a fun party nonetheless.

So, what happened in the last six years to make be full of nerves and apprehension at parties? Paul's throwing a party here next Saturday for my birthday... and I'm dreading it. Why? WHY?

1 comment:

Steve said...

I worked with H from Steps brother Alyn in Manchester. He (Alyn) is a lovely bloke. Three members of Precious went on to better things; Jenny Frost joined Atomic Kitten, Sophie McDonnell joined CBBC (and is my favourite current presenter), and Anya Lahiri did mucho FHM journo/photography/modelling stuff until she decided to become an actress instead (she was also engaged to Duncan from Blue once).